He is Serious?
by Snotwing
Summary: Missing scenes from the episode Probie. You know that part where Tony tries to 'cheer up' McGee? Well, I think there was a lot more to it than that. Tony tells a story. Team bonding fic, incl Gibbs and Abby. Read and Review! COMPLETE! Ya-hoo!
1. Chapter 1

Team fic; specifically Tony/McGee bonding.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

He's Serious?!?

"Tony! I told you, I just want to be alone! It's after 11:00. Please, just _go home_."

Timothy McGee was getting desperate. His senior teammate had shown up at his door nearly four hours ago and simply would not be persuaded, enticed, bullied, or guilted into leaving. Apparently the current "high stress situation" left him "doubly vulnerable to mind-controlling aliens", just like in some movie or another, and he couldn't be left alone.

"Aw, Probie, you act like I'm imposing or something. We both know you're secretly glad I'm here. You know, to keep you from dwelling on the fact that you killed a cop and will probably be interrogated by his pissed off boss and really pissed off partner. Not to mention what this might mean for your career. Nah, no way you want to be alone with those thoughts." Tony DiNozzo smiled widely as if he'd just made an important point and jammed the rest of his hotdog into his mouth.

"Yeah, Tony," he said flatly, "wouldn't want me to dwell."

"Knew you'd see it my way, Probie. You sure you're out of ketchup?"

"Yes! And I'll be out of _food_ soon, the way you're eating!" Tim yelled, exasperated.

Predictably, his outburst had no effect. DiNozzo merely shrugged, picked up his plate, and went back to the kitchen, presumably looking for ketchup or an acceptable substitute like…canned corn? McGee watched from the dining room table as Tony searched for a can opener, found it, and proceeded to empty the contents over his two remaining hotdogs then cover the ensemble liberally with mustard.

DiNozzo had been eating non-stop since he barged in. Not to mention the constant, extremely irritating stream of comments and absurd questions. Basically, he was being the usual Tony DiNozzo that McGee put up with at work every day. At least at work he could count on Gibbs to keep Tony in line.

"Hey, McProbie, you do anything besides write about us when you're home?" Tony asked, coming back into the room with a fresh glass of juice and re-loaded plate. "We could always play a computer game, but I'd beat you of course. Or we could watch a movie. Clubbing would be more fun. You're such a stick in the mud."

McGee sighed as Tony continued to ramble, managing to somehow get from stick in the mud to Rocky III. His teammate hadn't been serious since he'd told about his first time shooting at someone. That had surprised McGee just as much, if not more, as his actual visit. Totally un-Tony like. He had acted almost like he _cared._

Tony banged on the table, adding emphasis to some element of his unending gibberish. Tim wasn't really listening. He was staring at a random spot on the table trying not to listen to Tony and trying not to think about shooting a cop. Turned out, it was more difficult to ignore DiNozzo's animated monologue; bits of it kept getting through.

"You know, I'd really hoped to get you drunk outta your head before I told you this, but you haven't got a lick of alcohol in your apartment." This was one of the bits that drifted through. It caught McGee's attention because it sounded serious. Oh man, he was trying for a record – Tony DiNozzo was going to be serious twice in the same night.

"Before what, Tony?" he prompted dutifully at the expectant pause.

"I've been in your situation. Well, not _exactly_ your situation. In college. I was playing football-" McGee interrupted him incredulously.

"You're equating my killing a cop with _football_?"

"Hey, don't interrupt, McGee", Tony said, sounding a trifle put out. He glared before continuing. "As I was saying, I was playing football, when this guy got his leg broke. He was good, lived for sports. His dream, ever since he was a kid, was to go pro. He could've made it, too, if it hadn't been for the injury. It happened during his senior year; he'd already played for talent scouts and was pretty much guaranteed a spot on almost any team he wanted. Basketball. Anyway –"

"Tony, I really don't see where you're going with this. I shot a cop. You knew someone who broke his leg."

"Well, if you'd let me finish, McRude, it'll all make sense." McGee huffed at DiNozzo's rebuke, but stayed quiet.

"_Anyway_, the broken leg killed any chance the guy had to go pro. He lost more than just his dream, his girlfriend left him and his teammates, his brothers, left too. You could say he died a metaphorical death, while still having to live with it."

"To-nee!" Tim's thin layer of tolerance for DiNozzo's antics was perilously close to breaking. "I still don't-"

"Hush, McUnpatient!"

"It's _im_patient, Tony. Unpatient isn't a word", McGee droned wearily.

"I know that, Probie", Tony paused, squinting his eyes at the other man. "I used it for dramatic effect. Now, do you want to hear the rest of my story, or not?"

"No!" The younger agent was emphatic, but not hopeful.

"Too bad, McGee. Shut up and listen. _Before_ you so rudely interrupted me, I was going to say that the guy with the broken leg went to see the guy that broke his leg. You see, that guy screwed up. Launched a low tackle, didn't do it right. It wasn't really his fault, but he still screwed up, and the guy with the broken leg wanted blood." DiNozzo's narrative was dizzying, and McGee could only hold out so long.

"So, what, Tony? It was an accident. They talked it over, and Brokenleg forgave Brokeleg and they lived happily ever after. Or did Brokenleg kill Brokeleg and you're telling me to watch my back?"

A slight frown forced its way onto Tony's face. Up till now the senior agent had been grossly cheerful and pleasant. When he spoke there was a hint of something darker – an out of place scary-seriousness – in Tony's voice.

"Brokenleg and Brokeleg. Nice, McGee. No, Brokenleg didn't forgive Brokeleg. He didn't hurt him, either. Brokeleg felt guilty, though. Carried that with him a long time – ha, a sports injury that wasn't really his fault. He gave up _his_ chance to go pro, did something else instead."

Tony stopped talking. Apparently, he'd made his point. Confused, Tim stared at DiNozzo, waiting for him to explain why he'd just tortured his partner with a Ducky-caliber story. DiNozzo stared back. Two seconds, three, four, five…. A minute. McGee blinked. Tony blinked back, grinned triumphantly, and returned to his forgotten food. McGee watched as Tony shoved half of a corn and mustard covered hotdog and bun into his mouth. Darn it, Tony _knew_ he was going to ask.

"Ok, Tony. You win. You told me this, why?" McGee's tone indicated simultaneous resignation and irritation. That combination may sound difficult to achieve, but Tim was a pro – he should be, he got to practice it _every single day._

"Aw, come on, Probie. It's obvious. Brokeleg shouldn't have given up his chance to go pro." And, just like that Serious Tony was gone, "You sure you don't have any movies around here?" Tony polished off his hotdogs and wandered over to the entertainment center.

McGee was understandably shell-shocked. How on earth did Tony know he was thinking about quitting? Okay, not _quitting_ quitting, but quitting field work. He hadn't even said anything to Gibbs, although Gibbs might have guessed. But Tony… there was no way Tony would come up with something like that on his own.

Then again, Tony had caught some pretty good leads. Maybe it wasn't just luck. Tony could actually be smarter than he acted. He was good at undercover work, right? Tim leaned out in his chair, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of the man in the other room.

Tony had removed all McGee's DVDs from their cubby and was sorting through them methodically, tossing most into a large, untidy stack in the middle of the floor. Only a select few made it to a much neater stack on the edge of the coffee table. This man was smarter than he acted?

Nah. But he did have a point, well, sort of.

"Hey, Tony?" Tim hesitated, well aware that he was about to re-open Pandora's Box and unleash another set of DiNozzo Ramblings on himself.

"_What_, McGee?" Tony sound just a bit annoyed at being distracted from his intense concentration.

"What happened to Brokeleg?"

"Gee, McGee. I thought you'd be more concerned about Brokenleg. After all, he did break a leg - er, his leg was broken." Obviously Tony had used up all his reserve seriousness for the night.

"Tony, just tell me, please" Resignation and irritation, he doubted anyone else did it quite so well – or had quite so much practice.

"Fine, but I'm not telling you about Brokenleg," came the petulant capitulation, "Brokeleg became a doctor, trying to make up for it, I guess. Even saved the other guy's life, eventually. But it was funny, the other guy had moved on to bigger and better things. He was almost glad it happened, otherwise he'd never found his true calling. It was the doctor that hadn't moved on, had gotten stuck on it and let his guilt influence his life choices."

Okay, so maybe the over-grown frat boy had more stamina for seriousness than he let on. The message wasn't even that subtle, and Tim was grateful. He was grateful because he knew that however this ended, he was going to have to move forward, accept what had happened as an accident that "wasn't really" his fault. And he knew that his team would be there to help him let go.

"Thanks, Tony." And he meant it. Somehow, DiNozzo had known just what he needed to hear.

DiNozzo just grinned and went back to sorting DVD's.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

When Tony made it to work the next day, both Gibbs and Abby were waiting for him expectantly.

"You talk to him, DiNozzo?" Gibbs demanded gruffly.

He'd been worried about the computer-geek. McGee still didn't _think_ like a field agent. He was trained - hell, between him and DiNozzo, McGee'd gotten better 'training' than most rookie cops did. And recent events showed it. Gibbs had no doubt whatsoever that McGee had followed protocol to the letter. He assesed the situation and responded appropriately. Thank god he didn't freeze. If there was a mistake it fell on his teachers. Well, ultimately it fell to _him_, because it was his team.

So, Gibbs was worried about McGee. He was questioning his judgment. He'd been alone – and once again Gibbs questioned his own decision to have McGee cover the back entrance alone, but pushed it aside. He'd already beat himself up over his boat, in the basement with bourbon. DiNozzo would probably have something cute to say about all the b's matching 'b' for bastard or something.

Which led him back to the subject at hand, DiNozzo. DiNozzo sure didn't show it though typical behavior, but Gibbs knew that his senior field agent thought of McGee, Ziva, and Abby almost as younger siblings.

That being said, Gibbs also knew that DiNozzo had never had any real siblings and that he didn't willingly confront emotionally volatile situations. He also knew, that if he hadn't come up with something, DiNozzo would have spent last night in his basement, pestering him. So he'd ordered him to talk with McGee, and had Abby back him up.

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss. I talked to him. And I stayed with him most of the night. Didn't think he'd sleep much if I left him", Tony obediently reported.

"So, he's gonna be okay, right? It wouldn't be the same without the same ol' McGee, you know what I mean?"Abby gushed worriedly. It didn't look like either of them knew what she meant.

"Yeah, Abs, he'll be fine. I think." Tony cringed as he recalled the numerous objections and rejections he'd had to plow through to get his point across to the Probie. "He wasn't exactly in a receptive mood when I got there, but I think I managed to get through to him".

"That's why I sent you, DiNozzo." Tony gave him a look of mild disbelief. A look that meant he'd have company tonight. Well, it was lonely in his basement anyway.

"Now get back to work; we're going to solve this thing." With that, Tony's boss stormed off to his desk leaving himself and Abby to share a knowing look.

"Wait, Tony", Abby called out as he began to head in the direction of the bullpen. She had a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Which story did you use? The Peoria I-screwed-up-and-almost-got-my-partner-killed-but-still-caught-the-bad-guy or the Philadephia my-partner-almost-got-me-killed-because-I-followed-my-gut-and-not-protocol-but-still-caught-the-bad-guy?"

Tony grinned.

"Neither, Abs. Football story. McGee really needs to man up, get into sports."

"What football story? You haven't told me your football story! How could you tell McGee your football story, but not me? Not that McGee isn't good enough for your football story, but I'm-"

"Abs!" Tony stopped her before she could really get rolling, "Gibbs is going to kill me. I have to get back to work."

"Okay, but we're not done here, Mister. I expect you to tell me the football story later," the forensic Goth called after him, shaking her fist fervently.

"Whatever you say, Abs."

Tony grinned. It was good to fit in with people like this. He'd never had people care about him like Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, and even Director Morrow and Gerald did. Or had people to take care of. McGee and Ziva were getting better. They'd get the hang of it soon.

Yep, he'd found his calling. He'd have to remember to go easy on Brad Pitt the next time they met for a friendly game of basketball.

** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**A/N:** What'd you think? I'm thinking about doing a couple other team-bonding fics like this. Also, I only saw this episode once, and I'm not really sure about the timeline. I do know that SWAK happened before this. Lastly, I like mayo on my corn, but DiNozzo struck me as a mustard guy, so I ran with it. ;) Reviews are loved.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Okay so, new chapter. Definitely not planned. This is based around the scene between Abby and McGee later in the same episode. You know, where McGee tells Abby about Tony's visit and Abby acts all surprised. Uh, disclaimer – I'm writing this at four in the morning and I just watched the Matrix. Everything's funny at four in the morning.

"Tony really kept you up till three?", Abby asked. Again.

"Yes, Abby, Tony really kept me up till three. He ate all my food, threw my DVD's on the floor, and told me a story worthy of Ducky. Plus the standard movie references, complaints, and juvenile remarks, of course." McGee was getting frustrated. Abby was making way too much of this. So Tony dropped by last night to cheer him up. Really, it was surprising coming from Tony, but Abby was acting too… well, he couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off. Abby thought it was cute.

"That's so _cute_. He was worried about you, McGee." The forensic Goth squealed, again.

"Um, yeah, okay. Abby? Can we focus on this schematic?" Hopefully, hopefully, he could get her back on track.

"I am focusing, Timmy. It's called multitasking. See?" She tapped on the keyboard to enforce her claim. A minute later, something beeped angrily.

Suddenly, it was war. Abby against the computer. It didn't last long, neither did her silence.

"So, McGee. What'd you guys talk about last night?" Abby was on a mission, Tim recognized that look. She was ferreting something out. Maybe if he put her off she'd ask Tony?

"Oh, no you don't. I'm asking you, not Tony. Now spill." She pointed a finger at him as she delivered the command. Darn it, he needed to get Tony to work on his poker face. Abby could always tell what he was thinking.

McGee gulped. Better to get this over with. Besides, all he really had to do was confess that he hadn't been listening for most of it. She'd be pissed because Tony actually _tried_ (that's the operative word, he thought) to do something nice, and McGee had ignored him. Well, he had tried to ignore Tony. Again, tried is the operative word.

"Uh, well. I didn't really talk. You know Tony, he did all the talking. I wasn't really listening [insert McGee's sheepish look]. Something about taking me clubbing. He didn't. Then, some movies. He said something about football. I think it was important last night, but I'm not sure anymore. I'm just tired and I want to get this done. Back to the schematic?" He gestured to the screen.

In all truthfulness, he _did_ remember the football story, as well as the accompanying unsubtle message, but he wasn't sure that was on purpose. Tony couldn't have known he was thinking about quitting, right?

"You were thinking about quitting?!?!?"

Okay, _how_ did she _do_ that?

" 'Cause that's one of the stories Tony tells people when they're thinking about quitting." Abby grinned at McGee's shocked expression. She couldn't believe he still hadn't figured Tony out yet. Okay, so she'd cornered Tony earlier that morning and forced him to tell her the football story. She hadn't know about that. He'd broken his leg, and his girlfriend had dumped him, and his friends had left, and he couldn't play basketball, and it was _sad_.

But she was on a mission. She had to be sure that McGee understood. Tony didn't tell people this kind of stuff. Unless he cared about them. McGee still didn't get it.

"Well, mister? You were gonna quit?" Abby was proud of herself; she injected just enough anger into her tone to get Tim all worried and flustered, but not enough to make him break down into a quivering mass of apologies. Although, that probably had something to do with Tony's 'toughening up lessons'. McGee had come a long way since probie, and Ziva too. She doubted that they realized that it wasn't just Gibbs' influence.

"No, Abby. I mean, I thought about it, but it was just because I was stressed. And… You told Tony, didn't you? That's why he came over last night." Okay, Timmy was getting smarter.

"No, I didn't." He was learning to glare.

His glare was scary. Not Gibbs' scary, or even Tony's scary, but still scary. Or creepy. Yes, creepy was a better word.

Creepy didn't faze her, not in the least. Nope.

"Well, okay, maybe I did. Just a little. But he already knew, honest. I said, "Tony, I think McGee's thinking about quitting." And he said, "I know, Gibbs'll handle it" and I said "No… I mean, I said… uh". Oops. That wasn't supposed to happen. Bad mouth, bad.

"I knew it!"

"Knew what, McGee?" That was Gibbs, with his usual impeccable timing.

"Uh, well nothing", McGee faltered under the steeling gaze. "Just that Abby sent Tony to 'cheer me up' last night. He kept me up till three."

Gibbs worked hard to keep his smirk to himself as he glanced at Abby. He'd heard her corner Tony, earlier. The football story, he mused, always seemed to upset people. Not sure why. Gibbs had found out about it the first time Tony used it. One of Ducky's interns puked at the crime scene.

The intern, Ducky, and their newest team member, Agent something or other, had pestered him for a week, asking him if it still hurt, if he was still disappointed that he couldn't play, and yadda yadda yadda.

His need to smirk vanished as he continued to gaze at Abby's worried countenance. He wondered how she'd never found out about it last time. Huh. Well, looked like he was damage control this time. He'd handle Tony later.

"McGee, he tell you the Football Story?" Gibbs waited for a confirming nod. "Right, nobody else hears about it. And Abby, I swear, if you ask him if his leg still hurts or start clipping the basketball reports out of the sports' section, I'll cut off your cafpow! Supply for a week. You two got it?"

Abby nodded. She could always get Ducky to do those things. Or Palmer.

McGee looked confused.

"You with me, McGee?"

"Uh, yeah Boss. I just, uh, I didn't know it was Tony. He didn't tell me _he _was the guy with the brokenleg."

Aw crap. Battle tactics. Misdirection.

"You got anything for me, Abs?"

**A/N:** Okay, no beta, early morning… all mistakes and rambling plot are my fault. This was supposed to be a one shot, but it'll wrap up nicely with one more chapter. Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Sorry this took so long. I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter, but I kinda lost enthusiasm along the way, so I've posted this chapter anyway. Read up, and if you can think of an improvement, let me know and I'll change it. (Also not beta'd, so any apologize for any mistakes!)

* * *

Case closed. McGee was grateful, relieved, and, mostly, completely exhausted. Everything turned out well, in the end. He hadn't screwed up. He also got to see another side of his team. If he thought about it –and he really was doing his best not to think too much right now – he'd have to admit that he had doubted himself more than his team. He was amazed how much confidence they'd had in him. Especially Gibbs and Tony.

Tony. The reason he was still at his desk, writing a report that Gibbs had unexpectedly given them until Monday to hand in. Tony had stayed too, which didn't make any sense at all. Usually DiNozzo was the first one out the door, _especially_ when Gibbs cut them some slack. Regardless, Tony was reclining at his desk, feet propped up and playing Tetris on his phone. Well, honestly, Tony had been acting, well, _hinky_ since The Visit the night before last.

McGee sighed. He guessed there was no other option – he had to _talk_ to Tony, King of the Movie References. Oh, dear… that sounded like something Tony would say. Well, crud; Tony was getting to him. Best to get this over with. After all, Tony _did_ cause this particular problem. Heck, Tony _was_ this particular problem. Tony should be able to fix it. _Deep breath, _he thought, _and go!_

"Um, Tony, what's the big deal about the football thing? Why didn't you tell me it was you?" McGee blurted and immediately thought, _oh, crud, could I have picked a worse way to handle this?_

Well, maybe it would be over soon. He watched the senior field agent nervously, waiting for his response.

* * *

Bleep.

Bleep.

Ba-loop.

Bleep.

Bleep.

Bleep.

..

Bum-bum-bum.

Game Over.

Damnit! Tony held back a frustrated sigh. Level eight; his Tetris skills were playing hooky. It was almost ten o'clock and Gibbs had let them go almost three and a half hours ago. He was so ready to be out of here. If he left now, he might still have time to pick up a hot chick at the bar near the university. And, if he was lucky, he could turn a lucky night into a fun filled, no-commitment type weekend with said hot chick.

But, no. He couldn't leave until McGoogle did, because McGoogle was troubled. And Tony never left his teammates to troubled thoughts. Well, not the kind of troubled thoughts he thought the Probie was thinking. Besides that, Abby had found out that Tony hadn't had the heart-to-heart chit-chat with Timmy that she had ordered him to. She decided to let him live, on the condition that he would settle things with the younger agent before he left. Timmy had to know he was serious. And, finally, Gibbs had given him _the look._ The look that said, "I don't care what your problem is, handle this". Although, why Gibbs was so bothered was a mystery. Maybe it was the football story. Gibbs hated that one.

So, there was some sort of pickle here. McGee was still upset and both Abby and Gibbs expected him to handle it. Again. Tony was pretty sure that they were trying to get him to _show_ McGee how things were done. With the team/family thing, that was. He still didn't really get it. _I mean, I know he has a pretty good relationship with Abby and Ducky, but he doesn't really understand that we're family, _Tony mused. He doubted that McGee really even knew that the frat-boy persona was just a façade. His way of making sure that people didn't judge him because of his past. Oh, sure, they judged him anyway, but at least they judged him for something that he controlled, not something that he was just trying to forget.

Well, he'd love to just get this all over with, but some instinct told him that he needed to let McGee start this. Stifling another sigh, Tony restarted his game. He was on level three when the Probie finally, _finally_ came out with it.

"Um, Tony, what's the big deal about the football thing? Why didn't you tell me it was you?"

Somehow, that's not exactly what Tony had expected. Surely McGee wasn't that disconcerted by his visit the other night. Surely the computer geek knew he cared at least a little bit?

"Who was me, Probie?" No jokes, not tonight. It would be a challenge, but he'd promised Abby that he'd have a serious conversation with McGee. So, no jokes or movie references.

McGee rolled his eyes anyway. Totally uncalled for, in Tony's opinion.

"Brokeleg. Why didn't you tell me that it was you?" McGee sounded curious, but there was more to it than curiosity. That's not what he wanted to know. If Tony had to guess he'd say that the Probie found out that Abby and Gibbs sent Tony to talk to him. And he wanted to know why. Still, he'd play along for now.

"Abby tell you that, McNosy?", he drawled.

"N-no. Um, actually – I mean, Abby was there, but Gibbs did." He was stuttering. Tony thought he was past that. Well, for the most part. Why else did he tease McStutterer so much?

"Well, McStutter" Tony began slowly. Crap, no jokes. "Firstly, Boss doesn't like it when I do. Secondly, you didn't need to know. Thirdly, I didn't think you'd listen if I did." Well, that was better. He could so totally do this serious thing.

Tim was stunned. Tony was being serious. He glanced around him quickly. The bullpen was darkened and completely deserted except for the two of them. Tony's reputation would survive.

"Why'd you even come?" Maybe he'd get a serious answer. Tony was full of them lately.

"I think you know that." Tony leveled a stern look at him, almost daring him to get it wrong.

"Abby made you." Clearly, by Tony's expression, he'd gotten it wrong.

"Gibbs was in on it, too.", came the flat rejoinder. That still wasn't it.

"Um, okay, if it wasn't because they made you… then why? I don't get it, Tony. All you ever to is tease me, torment me. And Ziva. And then something bad happens and you come 'cheer me up'? It doesn't make any sense." Tony's face drooped briefly in disappointment, but quickly adopted a dull, closed expression.

"Maybe because I care, McGee." _Sarcasm doesn't count as a joke_, Tony thought to himself.

"Really, Tony? You care?" Tony glared at the other man. He really had no reason to sound that surprised.

"Yes, McGee. I care. Hell, why do you _think_ I tease you and Ziva so much?" Tony's voice softened a bit as he continued. "As senior field agent, it's part of my job to prepare you for tough situations - like the last one – and to help you get through them. Gibbs is my partner as much as my boss. He's lead, but we work together. He expects me to make sure you're _learning_. I'm like his right hand man, like Jacob Arden is to Detective Hann in _Black Chicago Night_ with Dean Forest and Johann Russell."

McGee was actually relieved to hear the movie reference. It was getting to be too _Twilight Zone_-ish for his sanity. Tony, _Tony_, was Gibbs' _partner_. That was, well, unbelievable. Seriously, he didn't believe it. He started very blankly at his friend.

His friend. That had come out of nowhere. Since when did he think of Tony as a friend?

Tony sighed.

"You know, McGeek, for a trained investigator you really should be more observant. Gibbs didn't hire me because he likes my jokes." Okay, well, that was partly true. Gibbs didn't hire him only because Tony could actually make him laugh. Tony thought that that bit of information might overwhelm the younger man. He wasn't doing so well.

"So…you care?" He was starting to sound like a broken record.

"Yes, I care." And so was Tony.

At last, some acceptance showed in McGee's eyes. Tony cared. McGee knew that Tony cared. They weren't best friends, but they were moving forward. Maybe McGee wouldn't be so dumbstruck the next time DiNozzo did something nice. Or the next time Tony, Gibbs, and Abby conspired together.

And, maybe, just maybe, McGee would finally get it. Tony cared because the team at NCIS was the only family he had. He hid his past behind a silly mask and met the world with a bright smile and racy sense of humor. He had people to care about, and who cared about him, and that kept darkness at bay.

Maybe McGee would get it. Well, he'd better get it. If he didn't, Abby just might kill him.

**A/N: **So, my first NCIS fic. Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought. Reviews are loved!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Okay, so first off, thanks for reviewing. I really wasn't planning on another chapter, but, as Preciouspup very helpfully pointed out, I've left a few loose ends. This is supposed to be the last chapter, but, well read and find out.

* * *

Tony had left NCIS shortly after McGee's little outburst, a slightly uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. McGee really, truly didn't get it. Not only did he not see _Tony_ for what he was, but DiNozzo had a very strong intuition that he didn't understand his own role in the misfit NCIS family. Yes, McGee did really respect Gibbs, but that was normal. Just about everyone in the building had some sort of respect for Gibbs, healthy or not. He got along with Abby very well, but Tony doubted he considered her anything more than a friend.

Of course, McGee _had_ a family. What's to say he needed another one? _But_, Tony thought, _it doesn't really matter, because _we _need_ him. Tony didn't expect McGee to understand all this tonight, but it suddenly seemed really important that he got it sometime. And if McGee getting it took someone actually spelling it out for him, then, well it _would_ be done.

Sighing, Tony glanced at the time. If he was lucky, he might find a good looking, although more-than-slightly drunk chick at some bar. It could still turn into a fun weekend. _Or_ he could go take care of this problem right now.

Shaking his head, Tony made his decision. Climbing into his car, he quickly rehearsed what he was going to say to Gibbs when he got there.

* * *

As expected, Gibbs was in his basement working on his boat. A small shot of bourbon could be seen off to one side, just within reach. Tony saw his boss' shoulders relax slightly when he started down the stairs.

"What took you so long, DiNozzo?", Gibbs demanded without looking up from his work.

"Sorry, Boss. Didn't realize you were expecting me", Tony responded. When he thought about it though, it was fairly obvious that Gibbs would be waiting for this visit. He probably even knew what had prompted it.

"How'd it go with McGee?" Yup, Gibbs knew all. That uneasy feeling melted slightly; Gibbs would know how to fix the McGee problem.

Gibbs glanced at Tony when he didn't answer immediately. He frowned – he knew that expression. It was the one Tony got when he expected his boss to 'fix' whatever 'problem' he had discovered or created. Although, Gibbs supposed it was a good sign that 'discovered problems' were slowly outnumbering 'created problems'. Still, if Tony thought he could just pawn McGee off on him, he really had another thing coming.

"If I hafta talk to McGee, you get to handle Ziva", Gibbs drawled, watching Tony's expression closely.

Tony blanched.

"Ziva? As in the crazy ninja-warrior-chick that can kill me with a paperclip? You want me to have a serious, heart-to-heart with _her_?" Tony's voice reflected is considerable discomfort at that notion.

"We-ell", Gibbs suppressed his smirk, "_somebody's_ got to talk to her. And I'm not talking to both of them."

Tony sighed resignedly - he was going to have to talk to McGee after all.

"Why, Boss? Why don't they get it? Kate did, well, sort of. She got this family thing anyway. Why don't they?"

Tony sounded frustrated. Gibbs could understand that; Tony wasn't used to having to _explain_ his feelings. He wasn't used to having anyone to explain his feelings to. Tony's most important relationships weren't generally with his peers –meaning that mutual communication was rare. In fact, a lot of what Tony _said_ was non-verbal. Even though Gibbs was excellent at reading body language, it had taken him a little while to grasp this concept.

It worked, though, because that was Gibbs' preferred form of communication anyway. They understood each other from the beginning. Gibbs suspected that this fact alone was the building block of their current relationship. In spite of all this, Gibbs did understand the importance of talking. He _should_, after three divorces. Yes, he understood – but that didn't mean he was good at it. Still, he was better than DiNozzo.

So slowly, but surely, he had been teaching DiNozzo to use his words. Not that DiNozzo didn't _talk_, but very little of what he said had any real meaning. This was not true of McGee - hence the current situation.

Leaning against the staircase railing, Tony waited patiently for his boss to speak. Gibbs smiled to himself. That was another thing about Tony – he knew how to wait. Although, Gibbs would bet his boat that neither McGee nor Ziva would ever guess this. And that was another part of the problem. Gibbs sighed and met his senior field agent's defeated expression with one of his own.

"Abby" they said in unison.

"It's a Friday night, Boss. She's probably out clubbing or something." Tony remarked.

"Nah, DiNozzo. You know her better than that. She wanted to stay, make sure you and McGee worked things out alright. She's probably expecting us to call. I'll do it – you go order the pizza."

Tony nodded and pulled his cell phone out to make the call, watching as his boss did the same.

* * *

A little over half an hour later, the three of them were sitting at the kitchen table with pizza and beer, hashing out a plan.

"Tony, you know McGee never had a big brother – he doesn't recognize what you're doing with all that hazing." Abby declared confidently. She leaned over and stole a pepperoni from Gibbs' pizza. He let her, but retaliated by swapping his nearly empty beer bottle for her own relatively full one. "Hey! That was mine!"

Gibbs just glared.

"Fine", Abby pouted, "I just won't tell you my plan".

Her drink was returned. Tony snickered, then quickly became serious when 'the glare' was turned on him.

"Listening intently, Abbs!" Tony said quickly.

"I don't think that you need to sit down with McGee again. From what you've told me, he was freaked out the first time! And the second, well, McGee has already said something about bipolar disorder… a third time and he might actually call a shrink! Or talk to Ducky." Here she paused to make placating gestures at Tony and a reproachful glance at Gibbs' amused snort.

"Anyway, I've got a better idea!" Abby leaned forward conspiratorially, grinning as the other two mimicked her. "So here's what we do…."

* * *

**A/N:** Really sorry guys. One more chapter to finish. Find out Abby's plan in the next and _final_ final chapter. Reviews will make it come faster! :D


	5. Final Chapter! Hurray!

Abby grinned as she bounced into the bullpen. She had _always_ wanted to do this – no reason why – but hadn't been able to think of an excuse. Now she had one, and she was pretty proud of herself. It's amazing what her boys would do in the name of bonding!

She'd left Tony and Gibbs in the lab to set up while she went after McGee. She chuckled to herself remembering a snippet of the conversation Tony had been having with his _Boss_ earlier.

* * *

"_Boss, you're doing it wrong" Tony stated nervously. Gibbs glared. "Here, if you want, I could –" _

_Slap!_

"_Ow! Hey, Boss, that was totally uncalled f-"_

_Slap!_

_Tony sighed and rubbed his head, meeting Gibbs' glare with one of his own._

"_You're just cranky because you let Abby talk us into doing this at work"_

_Gibbs raised his hand to strike but hesitated when Tony only grinned and tilted his head. _

"_What, am I not hitting hard enough?" Gibbs demanded incredulously. _

_In response, Tony put on his best innocent face, looking for all the world like he was truly perplexed._

"_Guess not, Boss. My head must've gotten harder from all the headslapping."_

_Gibbs snorted. "Tony, your head couldn't _get_ any harder." He seemed to buy Tony's act, but then paused. He made to grab the front of Tony's cap. It was odd that he was wearing it inside, especially since they hadn't just come from a case. _

_Tony dodged quickly, causing Abby to smirk in the background. She'd noticed earlier that his head was shaped kinda funny. It was only a little, and she was willing to blame it on the odd lump or two from Gibbs' attention. She watched as Gibbs out-maneuvered Tony – by glaring._

"_DiNozzo! The cap!" _

_DiNozzo dutifully handed over the cap, revealing an extremely odd shaped bowl that had fit just under his cap, effectively protecting his head from the slaps. Gibbs' recognized the bowl as something his second ex-wife had bought for decoration. Some odd art something or other that was based on human proportions. He'd always hated that bowl, but now, seeing it resting on his agent's head, he had to fight back a laugh. The rounded, dark purple bowl reminded him of an eggplant._

"_You- wha- " Gibbs spluttered. Gibbs never splutters. Tony was choking back a laugh of his own. The look on the Boss' face!_

_Abby had no such inhibition. She burst out laughing, causing both men to lose control. Once the three of them calmed down, she snapped back to serious mode. They only had thirty minutes left of their early lunch break, they had to get back to work. Still, she spared a grateful glance at Tony for improving Gibbs' mood. She knew he'd done it on purpose. _

"_Okay, you guys finish here. I'll go get Timmy!"_

_She waltzed out of her lab, smiling hugely - beaming, really. Yeah, beaming was a good word. _

_Just before she boarded the elevator, she heard a loud smack from the direction of her lab, accompanied by Tony's indignant squawk._

_She clearly heard Gibbs' bland reply._

_"What? You told me to hit harder."_

_Abby broke down into another fit of giggles. She'd just barely composed herself when the elevator doors opened on Gibbs' floor. _

* * *

If McGee had been there, he probably would have fainted from shock. Well, that's what they were going to fix. Timmy was going to see the truth of Boss-man and Tony if it killed her. She slowed her approach; McGee and Ziva were talking about their two absent team-members. Abby smirked to herself. If they were always this oblivious, she could see how Gibbs was always sneaking up on them. Well, it was her turn now!

* * *

**A/N: April Fools! ****Ducks around corner, hiding from angry mob** Sorry, sorry! I just HAD to post something for April Fool's day. Final chapter is still on its way. As always, thanks for reading and let me know what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Okay guys, here it is, the _final_ 'final' final chapter. Hope it was worth the wait. ;) Thanks for all the reviews so far. Also, special thanks to Precious Pup for the awesome reviews. I blame you for at least three chapters. :p

* * * * * * * * *

Abby snuck quietly over to the flimsy partition set up between the elevator and Gibbs' team's desks. Neither Ziva nor McGee had noticed her. She grinned, this was so fun! She was about to spook McGee when she realized that they were talking about Tony. Well, a little eavesdropping couldn't hurt, right? Besides, it was her duty to Tony – she had to stick up for him because that's what he'd do for her. She leant back, crouching slightly so that they wouldn't see her head over the partition, and listened carefully.

* * * * * * * * *

"Honestly, McGee, I don't see what your problem is. Tony is annoying. He went to your house, ate your food, made a mess, and wouldn't shut up. That is annoying."

"But, Ziva, this was different. He was serious. And the way Abby and Gibbs acted, it was anything but normal!" McGee's voiced raised an octave – this 'Tony Thing' was really, really starting to get to him.

He never, in a million years, thought he would be wishing this, but he _wished_ that Tony would just go back to his normal, juvenile self. The stupid pranks, sexist attitude, stupid nicknames, and incessant movie references – he wanted all that back, because _that_ Tony he understood. _That_ Tony was just an over-grown frat-boy with rich parents that craved attention and acted out to get it. He was the class clown and trouble maker. It wasn't that McGee _liked_ that person, but he understood him – well, sort of.

He was used to the Clown Tony. He just wasn't sure what to do with this new mature-ish Tony. Tony could never behave maturely like a normal person, but he was being Tony-mature-ish. For example, Tony was right on time this morning. He strode into the bullpen nodded a cheerful 'good morning' to both McGee and Ziva before sitting down and going through his e-mail. Quietly.

Okay, sure, Tony had rubber banded McGee's desk drawer shut when he'd left for the head, and still used those annoying movie references, but he'd helped Ziva with her cross word puzzle and even brought Gibbs a cup of coffee.

Besides, the drawer thing hadn't really hurt and Tim had practically dared him to try and pull _some_ kind of prank in the presence of the All-Mighty-Gibbs. Relatively speaking, that was a pretty tame prank considering McGee's own stupidity. Tony should have tried to teach him a serious lesson. Tried to reassert his superiority and maintain the 'fear factor'. That's what the old Tony would have done. But this Tony didn't. If anything he seemed kind of – proud. It was like pod-person-Tony.

Okay, that last thought was definitely worrisome. Tony. Was. Getting. To. Him. He felt like screaming and running away. He could hide in his closet until the real Tony came back. _Yeah, that's a _great_ idea, Tim_, he thought with a sarcastic huff.

He looked over at Ziva. He couldn't believe she hadn't said something about Tony's strange behavior.

"That wasn't the only time, Ziva," McGee insisted. "Tony talked to me Friday night, too."

Ziva laughed. "That's all Tony does, is talk! How is that unusual?" She leaned back in her chair, using her letter opener to clean her nails.

"Okay, yes, Tony does talk a lot, but not like this. This was serious! He stayed in the office with me almost four hours after Gibbs let us go! And he said that he and Gibbs were partners!"

Ziva laughed even harder.

"Please, McGee" she gasped, "I did not know Tony was gay, but I assure you that he and Gibbs are NOT partners. Maybe he just has a squish on you."

"Squish? You mean crush, Ziva. And Tony _isn't_ gay. I meant partners like you and me are partners."

Ziva let out a derisive snort.

"_That_ I do not believe. Tony is just having a huge head."

McGee sighed. He didn't blame her. After all, that's how he had reacted, but now he wasn't sure.

"It's big head, Ziva. And you may be right, but you can't say that he hasn't been acting weird all morning." Ha, he had her with that one. Tony had been _really_ weird _all_ morning.

"Tony?" She wrinkled her nose in confusion. "Tony has been acting like Tony all morning. He rubber-banded your drawer shut! Besides, Gibbs has been much stranger. He has been extremely cranky. He didn't even cheer up when Tony brought him coffee."

"What's strange is that Tony brought him coffee like it was no big deal!"

McGee and Ziva glared at each other.

It was at this point that Abby felt she should interrupt. If she didn't, she wasn't sure who she was going to strangle first. At least McGee was starting to notice some things. Maybe there was hope for him yet. But Ziva – well, they'd deal with Ziva later. Today was Operation-Make-McGee-Finally-Get-It. Tony had wanted to call it McGetit like Ian MacEttic from the classic film _Hills of My Fathers _which starred – well to be honest, she'd already stopped listening. Anyway, she needed to get McGee down to the lab.

She cleared her throat.

McGee and Ziva kept glaring.

Abby rolled her eyes and coughed, loudly.

Ziva looked up first. She smiled.

"Oh, hi Abby, can we help you?" she asked politely.

"No. I mean, you can't. But McGee can. McGee, I need you to help me with – um, I need you to help me…with evidence! I need you to help me with some evidence for a case that's from a team that's not yours." McGee looked at her strangely.

"Okay, sure Abby. Whatever you need." He got up slowly, still watching her suspiciously.

_What, it's not like this is the first time I've asked him for help with something, he can't know something's up._ Abby worried. Oh well, all she had to do was get him in the elevator and push the button for her lab. Then Tony was gonna handle it. Yeah, Tony and the Boss-man.

"So, Abbs, what's up?" McGee asked her as soon as the elevator doors shut.

_Crap_, she thought, _what do I say now? I'm so not a good liar!_

"Uh, I'm not talking to you, McGee. Just go to my lab." With that she turned away from a really _really_ perplexed McGee, and waited impatiently for the elevator to make it to the first-level basement.

* * * * * * * * *

McGee was miserable. First Tony and now Abby. It just wasn't fair – the next thing he knew Gibbs would start carrying around a lollipop and playing children's games. Nevertheless he followed the silent Strange Abby to her lab. As they approached, he heard voices. Tony and Gibbs' to be precise. Arguing. No, not arguing, bantering. Tony and Gibbs were bantering – with each other, good naturedly, well sort of. They both sounded frustrated, but not like they were going to start lopping off the other's head.

"No, Gibbs, don't-!" Tony's warning was cut off by a light clatter. "Crap, Abby's going to be pissed. I can't believe you just broke her-"

"Shut up, DiNozzo, and find me glue."

"Glue? I don't know, Gibbs." McGee could imagine Tony's skeptical look. "I don't think glue's gonna work."

"Well, what exactly do you suggest we try, Brains?"

Tim gasped – did he hear what he thought he heard? Based on Abby's amused snort he did. Gibbs just called Tony names. Shaking his head, he sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. This was just getting too freaky. At least it wasn't Friday, like the mov- _Oh no! I did NOT just make a movie reference in my head. Ahh!_ Between staving off an acute panic attack and managing his almost clinical curiosity, McGee noticed that they were walking very slowly now.

"You're just not gonna let that go, are you? And, I swear, if you don't stop head-slapping me so hard, I'm going to come to work tomorrow wearing a football helmet." Tony sounded…amused?

"You do and I'll bring my baseball bat."

"Oh, c'mon Boss. How 'bout a tennis racket?" Tony wheedled.

"Stow it, DiNozzo. Help me fix this." Demanding. That was normal. Gibbs was always demanding. _Breathe, Tim, just breathe_, McGee told himself, _there's got to be a rational explanation for all of this_.

"Ok, Boss, I got it." McGee and Abby had made it to the door, but neither actually entered the lab. Peeking around the doorframe, they could see Tony fiddling with something small at the table in the middle of the room. "Here go, Boss." Tony handed whatever it was he was working on down to Gibbs who, apparently was on the floor just behind the table. Since the table had a cabinet underneath it, McGee couldn't see what Tony and Gibbs were working on. He was about to die of curiosity, but he didn't dare interrupt them. Abby didn't interrupt either, but for a different reason, it seemed. She was _grinning._

"Got it. Next step."

"Right, it says to fit the red basket looking thing into the second slot in the middle of the blue banana shaped thing." _What in the world?_ McGee glanced at Abby. She was trying really hard not to laugh.

"Argh, DiNozzo, that's not exactly helpful." Tony sighed.

"Here, let me." Tony squatted down behind the table to help Gibbs. After a few minutes of quiet tinkering and muttered curses there were twin exclamations of triumph. DiNozzo just elaborated a little more, as per usual.

"Ha! We got it, Boss. Yeah! C'mon, pound!" Silence. "Um, Boss, pound. See you make a fist and-"

Smack!

"Ow! Hey, Probie, get your butt in here. You're green."

McGee jumped. How did Tony know he was there? If it had been Gibbs, he would have been less than surprised, but Tony?

Abby trounced past him. "I want the purple!"

"Sorry, Abbs. No purple. There's black though. Gibbs wants to be blue, so that means I'm red."

"C'mon, McGee, or were you waiting for an invitation?" At Gibbs' bark, McGee quickly walked over to the table.

His boss and co-workers were sitting cris-cross apple-sauce around a game-board, looking for all the world like his family on game night.

And that's when it hit him. This, their team, was Tony and Gibbs' family.

Tony cared.

And so did Gibbs.

Thinking back, McGee realized that Gibbs and DiNozzo interacted much like a father and son would, but Gibbs didn't have a son and Tony hadn't spoken to his own father in years.

Tim was flabbergasted. How could he have missed something like this? And Tony – that's what Tony had been trying to tell him. It all made sense now. It still was a little strange and a little new, but he thought he could get the hang of it.

Abby tugged on his sleeve, trying to get him to join them on the floor. Actually, trying to get him to join them. That's what this was all about, they were a family and they wanted him, Timothy McGee to be a part of it too. Tim was shocked and awed and really, really floored. Stunned.

He sat mechanically, and accepted the blue game piece that Tony handed him. Suddenly, he became aware that nobody was saying anything; they were all watching him expectantly. _I must look really, really stupid right now._

But he pushed past the embarrassment. He knew what they were now, and what they were doing. He needed to let them know that he knew. Carefully, slowly, and meaningfully, he looked at each of them in turn.

"Thank you", He couldn't remember ever saying those two words and meaning them more than he did now.

Abby squealed and leaned over for a hug. Gibbs clapped him lightly on the shoulder in a fatherly gesture. DiNozzo flashed him a 1,000 Megawatt smile. A_ real_ smile, not the phony ones Tony usually gave. Tim thought he could tell the difference now.

"Okay, if you three are done with the mushy stuff, let's start the game. I'm so gonna beat you all. That's right, Probie. I am the master, watch and learn" Tony delivered one of his cheesiest smiles with the challenge as he rolled the three dice.

"Tony, it's – it's -" McGee tried to point out.

"Yeah", Gibbs agreed, interrupting, "and he damn near got himself killed putting it together."

"Gibbs! I told you to be nice!" Abby scolded.

"But, guys, it's Mouse Trap." McGee finally managed to get out.

"I know," Tony grumbled. "Next time we are playing Clue"

"I'm sure Ziva will appreciate that, Tony." Abby said, laughing at his expression.

Tony didn't think he could handle going through this all over again – and especially not with Ziva. Still- Gibbs said he'd handle her so everything would be okay. He relaxed and glanced over at his Boss.

Gibbs caught his look and snorted.

"Oh, no, you don't. I'm not talking to Ziva."

"But, Boss , you said –"

"Stow it. It's your roll"

Tony sighed resignedly. How the hell was he supposed to _explain_ this to Ziva. Still, if he lived through it, it would so be worth it. They were family after all, she just didn't know it yet.

* * * * * * * * *

**A/N:** So, what'd you think? Anyone want a sequel? Thanks for reading, and please review!


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